"I know I know, I said that I would quit.
Alright I promise no more after this.
You don't know how I tried to forget what it was like."

So I am intoxicated now, as per my usual, but then again this is a special night.

I'm not really sure at this point why it is a special night, but it just has that feeling. THough, while it does feel remarkable in a way, it also feels empty. ALways feels empty.

But this is interesting. Tim got down while drinking some, about some personal things. We walk out of the bar to some friends, and this fellow claims that Tim bumped into him, making him drop 1 of his 3 slices of pizza. I don't agree with this kid. Tim says he is sorry, but the kid is irate. Adam James steps in and calms the situation down. Tempers flared but they cooled.

However, this is the first time that I have ever been intoxicated and full of rage. This man was yelling at my close friend, my brother, and I swear to God (if there were one) that if he harmed so much as a hair on Tim he would have been in such a bad way. I've not felt so protective in such a long time, but to feel that way in such a primal nature felt good. I really care about the kid.

Because of that, or maybe I just realized it then, I have this odd fraternal bond to my man Tim. He's such a good man, in spite of what some people might tell you, he's really on the ball and honestly a person that everyone should know. His honesty and character make me envious, and really push me to try and be better. He's honestly one of the people here that I always want to know, and I feel truly amazed that I've been able to get to know him.

He's like a brother to me.

But moving away from psychotic tangents for a second...it was Earth Day today. I did my part. I drove to campus, hung out at the festivities all day, then drove back hom. I am killing the earth by being such a typical college student. I think that's great in an ironic way, but far too typical. Hey, what can you say to someone who knows that they're being a dick anyway? Once you realize you're doing something horrible, it kind of takes the fun out of pointing it out.

But anyway, I should sleep soon, while the rain is still falling and the fog has our campus in a loving stranglehold. I wish certain people were here right now that I could wax poetic to. Maybe the time for that has past. Maybe there is no longer that outlet. I hope it still is there, because it was great and always will be great.

Nostalgia for anything is a bitch and a half, and honestly will cause you more trouble than it's worth. The past is full of smiles and tears, but we can never get the past back, so we should really move on. So move on, for me, you, those you love, and those you will.

Not making much sense, as usual, but just throwing my thoughts out there for you

-ccm