"I empty a bottle, I feel a bit free"

What to do now?

The existential crisis creeps on towards some unknown climax. I do hope that it will be a good one. I wish someone had an inkling of advice on this issue. And not the usual. I want someone to look at me and say, "Hey! You'd be perfect for _______!". That's not going to happen though, so it's back to looking through the classifieds.

Maybe I didn't think this whole move thing through all that well. That's part of living though. Seeing as Cali has about 10% unemployment, this may not be the best time to be looking for work. Maybe it's time to go to Europe for a while. Or something. Just be occupied.

At every turn I am discouraged by what I find. There is this unknown tyranny which pervades my life, but I cannot confront it, or even understand it. It's just there. That shortness of breath at the unknown. Nerves. I'm nervous about my own life.

I'm not getting any younger either. A lot of people my age have kids, steady jobs, a future. I have none of those things. I've worked odd jobs, have no love interest, and at this point, no future. I'm hoping to get into a grad program, but still...

Well, here's to hoping something good happens in the next few months.