I'm typing this because I'm always sleepless the night before work.

I work at a newspaper. It's sort of interesting, but really it makes me want so much more out of my life. The paper itself is poorly run, and my schedule really makes me cringe. I get pretty much 2 days to get my shit together, and if something happens outside of the days i'm actually in the office, I won't get paid to cover it. It's limiting. Oh. They also apparently use only one space after a period in the press. Now I just do that as a routine.

What kills me about the press is the very terse style that one needs to write in. The myth of vocabulary is just that, the idea that reporters will use big cool words is bunk. Short and simple, to the point and lacking fluff. That's the way they do it.

I write about mundane things, I write about cool things. In one day I had a woman bitch to me about a story regarding something meaningless, and then I went to cover something that actually matters, where someone died and judgements were to be made. Still, I go home at the end of the day vaguely excited but ultimately feeling empty. I want too much too soon.

I also actually want to live in my apartment. This job is too close to my old home. I just go stay there for a few days while I work, then spend the weekend at my own place. I'm milking this job for the perks and clippings, but man, I just want to live in my own freaking place.

I'm at the same time very happy and very disappointed with my place right now.

I have the urge to make christian television. Exploit it. I figure the script is already written for a lot of it, and if you buy into it, it's perfect. (Nat and Bri get the assist on that one)

Won my division championships in hockey. It's a shit league, but it's good to win. We had a great team, but really had an off year. We won 3 games. Because of the lack of other teams all of us had a shot at the championship. We turned it on when it mattered. As a point of personal pride I won the last game. It went 4 periods and then ended in a shootout. I stopped 4 out of 5 shots that I faced there. So I can actually say that I won it. An odd moment of hubrus for me.

I wear a watch now.

Girls are still pretty. I'm still single, though I oddly don't mind as much.

I'm content to look scruffy and unkept. I also have adopted an old style hat and an overcoat to go with my longer hair, goatee, and general stubble. It goes with the converse quite nicely.

I love Brooklyn, when I'm there. I think we finally got rid of the roaches. They were living in our fridge, but we took care of that. With dynamite.

I've become convinced that the majority of the people that go on about politics have never actually read the documents that spawned their favorite passtime. Church and state boys, church and state...

I think I'm the least political political writer ever. My interest really dived after college. In university, it's sexy to care.

So I hear.

I wouldn't know. Much.

But anywho, it's supposed to snow now. The commute should be interesting.

I got to see Bri and Nat, and man, I miss our apartment. It kicked a good amount of ass, drama and incest aside.

I vaguely want to get into a fistfight with one of my coworkers. He's kind of a dick, the kind of guy that really gets all fired up about things in a very childish way. You know the kind of guy. He gets that look in his eyes, the same look a child gets when they can't get that new GI Joe or whatever the hell kids play with today. He's also got a scrunched up little face, and, oh yeah, is an enourmous tool. He's the sports dude. Fucking jocks.

I think I'm still a nice guy deep down inside, but as of now I'm a cynical motherfucker.

"That's all I can think of, but I'm sure there's something else, way down inside, I can feel it coming back"

Last random though: I realize now that I really am bad at keeping in touch with the people I want to keep in touch with, or even getting things done, especially lately. I need to sit down and write out a ton of emails. I also realize that I like the HBO series "Rome" a lot, Moz, and really don't have time for people who play social games.

Egg nog is amazing though, and is almost the sole reason I love this time of year. The other ones all involved ice, snow, and holidays.

I'll get something more upbeat soon.

-ccmas