My feet have recently become tough.

Docs are great shoes, but for some reason they always chew up my feet. I've been wearing them pretty constantly for the past few weeks, ie: everyday, all the time. The result has been that portions of my feet have been worn away, and replaced with rough patches. Amazing that after all those years of skating and all the abuse that comes with that, that this hasn't happened before.

Knew a girl that hated feet. Really, they're not that bad. Unless you're Uma Thurman.

On another note, we had a surprise party for Nat last night. Think it went really really well. It started nicely, and by the end of the evening people were drunk off their asses, or as I just thought in my head, "orf their arses." My personal highlights include the trip to Wendy's with Tim at the wheel (sober). We ordered an ungodly amount of food, and it was just great. The usual watching of people was tons of fun. My favorite moment had to be the run across campus. I had convinced Piya to come to the party, which was great. I decided that instead of meeting her at the traffic light on RT. 32, that I would go up to her room and say hi, and walk her down. Bad idea. Like ships in the night, we passed. I got to her room, then realizing my folly ran from Larabee down to the apartment, which is not the best idea when you are intoxicated and wearing a heavy sweater and a suede jacket. Lots of heat.

On the bright side, I was able to make the run pretty well.

Have you ever just stopped what you are doing and stared, at nothing at all, but at a point on the wall? It's a sort of interesting moment: your mind goes blank, and you just contemplate the spot for a moment, or not even that. You just stop. It is as if you are starting over. You just blank out for a second. In that moment you are completely vulnerable, alomst an empty husk of a man, just sitting there not even looking at anything. It's interesting, to say the least, if a little worrysome.

"When she walks
she swings her arms
instead of her hips
when she talks
she moves her mout
instead of her lips"

I wonder if I could hang on?

Let me go
she said


Cake is not always that easy, but by god it is great music. Life is going on. Maybe in the coming week i'll stop being such a dick, and I will get back to life, proper. I'm not saying that I'm going to be the best person to be around in the world, but I'm going to perhaps be reasonable. This is translating to something, but I'm not overly sure yet. Rationality has been my strong and weak point for a long time. I can be really rational, but then irrational when I get emotionally attatched to a situation. It's the Italian in me, the Esposito, to be specific. Something has got to give, the center cannot hold, and all of that, and when it gives, life will start, renewed.

Until then though, I've got some living to do, in the old vein.

-ccm

(lyrics by cake, though i'm listening to the cardigans right now.)

more lyrics i like:
So where did you see me go
It's not the right way, you know
Where did you see me go
No, it's not that I don't know
I just don't want it to grow
It's not that I don't know

I've changed my mind I take it back
Erase and rewind'
Cause I've been changing my mind

(cardigans)