Beauty is all around us.
Look for it and you'll miss it.
Miss me.
Miss you.
Miss what we once were and never shall be again.
I don't think I missed much.
I am drained completely and utterly. I have much to say, but I just poured a lot into something that will probably not work out. I really am something new. Not quite as romantic as I was before, but not as hard as I was over the summer. I'm becoming what I think of as myself, and to be honest, I am comfortable with that idea.
Shannon once said that she was once so distrought that she just curled into a ball on the floor and listened to radiohead for a long time. Music can soothe us and make us think. It can comfort and kill. Sonic transmissions to the aural sense can make us remember people that we forgot about. When I hear certain songs, I can smell things, I can feel things, tactile things. I remember rooms that I haven't been in for years. I remember faces I have not seen forever. I remember scenery, love, pain, anything that you can think of. I want to be able to reach into these memories, these senses, and I want to put myself into them. There is a problem, that being real life, and the fact that I cannot regress into a world of thought and images. I can, however, listen to songs, and through them see things that I have not seen.
I can see Bridget in the "Do you Realize?" by the Flaming Lips.
I can see Mark in "96 Tears" by ? and the Mysterians.
Shannon in "Blackstar" by Radiohead
Cindy in "Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants
Ashley in "Pork roll egg and cheese" by Ween
Jocelyn in "Brickhouse" by the Commodores
Blythe in "Dancin' Fool" by Frank Zappa
I have only seen Mark, out of all those people, in the past 6 months. I don't even know what happened to two of them, and only have vague notions of the fates of the rest. In those songs, I can feel that they are somewhere inside my mind, somewhere tactile, still living. I may not know what has befallen them, or what they are doing at this moment, but I can still have them in my heart and head.
I have a lot of emails to write.
-ccm
Look for it and you'll miss it.
Miss me.
Miss you.
Miss what we once were and never shall be again.
I don't think I missed much.
I am drained completely and utterly. I have much to say, but I just poured a lot into something that will probably not work out. I really am something new. Not quite as romantic as I was before, but not as hard as I was over the summer. I'm becoming what I think of as myself, and to be honest, I am comfortable with that idea.
Shannon once said that she was once so distrought that she just curled into a ball on the floor and listened to radiohead for a long time. Music can soothe us and make us think. It can comfort and kill. Sonic transmissions to the aural sense can make us remember people that we forgot about. When I hear certain songs, I can smell things, I can feel things, tactile things. I remember rooms that I haven't been in for years. I remember faces I have not seen forever. I remember scenery, love, pain, anything that you can think of. I want to be able to reach into these memories, these senses, and I want to put myself into them. There is a problem, that being real life, and the fact that I cannot regress into a world of thought and images. I can, however, listen to songs, and through them see things that I have not seen.
I can see Bridget in the "Do you Realize?" by the Flaming Lips.
I can see Mark in "96 Tears" by ? and the Mysterians.
Shannon in "Blackstar" by Radiohead
Cindy in "Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants
Ashley in "Pork roll egg and cheese" by Ween
Jocelyn in "Brickhouse" by the Commodores
Blythe in "Dancin' Fool" by Frank Zappa
I have only seen Mark, out of all those people, in the past 6 months. I don't even know what happened to two of them, and only have vague notions of the fates of the rest. In those songs, I can feel that they are somewhere inside my mind, somewhere tactile, still living. I may not know what has befallen them, or what they are doing at this moment, but I can still have them in my heart and head.
I have a lot of emails to write.
-ccm
posted by CCMAS | 5:50 AM
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