The Cat's Meow

The absurd world through the eyes of a cat...one who occasionally grumbles...

12.27.2005

The holidays are here, and strangely it doesn't seem like they are. Maybe it's the 40 degree weather and the rain. It's sort of worrisome. I want snow and cheer, and we get rain and fog. It's not very conducive to singing songs.

Saw "The Island". It had a lot of potential, but it really was an overwrought political commentary on stem cell research. It was going along being a good little action flick, and then it bludgeons you to death with the club of morality. I'm all for movies making political statements, but there is a degree of tact in this process. "Good Night and Good Luck" was a blunt political commentary, but it was also one of the best acted movies I've seen all year. The script had tact and beauty, working you into the story, allowing you to understand what the characters were risking in taking on the system. The story developed after a while, slowly, and when it came to a head it was well timed. "The Island" has the chance to be an interesting movie, one where a character might actually choose to do something morally ambiguous, but instead it follows the cookie cutter formula of a happy ending. How great would it be to see a movie where the hero chooses to live a good life rather than risk his life? It would be very true to life. We would criticize our hero for not being one, not being a hero, but we would also relate. I would rather live a wonderful life with finanacial security than risk my neck for people I don't even know. I would make a poor hero in a movie. I think that most of us are cowards when it comes to that shit. I really do.

Here's a test. Go play something like paintball. Now imagine that when your friends get shot, they are really dead. Now imagine that your friends have all been taken down and you are alone in the face of 10 enemies. They can't see you, you're hiding behind a rock. You're safe. Sudeenly, they see you and start firing on where you are. Do you fight and die or try and live?

Self preservation is interesting like that. There are questions that you'll ask yourself, about the point of it all, and whether it would make any difference if you take one of them with you when you could just leave peacefully. But what if you couldn't? What if the only way out was death?

How does one get to the point where the only way out IS death? Wars, suicide, murders, it all makes little sense. I mean, one would assume that if you play your cards right, you could avoid being in a life or death situation, and having to choose who dies and who lives. I'm not talking about the moral choice of cutting the rope of a fellow climber to save the team, but more along the lines of a Japanese soldier on Iwo Jima, an insurgent in Iraq, or any of those situations. Where does death become the only option?

It seems like such an easy, lazy way out. It's hard to talk things through or end things reasonably. Eliminating the physical presence of a problem seems so easy. It's like swatting a big fly, but what if you had to look into the eyes of that fly? Hold the fly as it faded away.

I don't think I could do that. I don't know how people do that, even in extraordinary situations. I empathize with the coward in Saving Private Ryan. He's the only character that I really understand in that movie. He's not indoctrinated, he thinks. He has morals.

Man, I did not intend to go on that sort of rant. I just wanted to talk about movies. It's also late...so I'm not sure exactly what I just said. Harumpf.

On the bright side, I intend on starting a writing project tomorrow, to kill the time. Let's say a one act of some variety, or a short film.

-ccmas

12.15.2005

For the record, Peter Luthy is the most epic man I know. Crom shakes when he hears his name, and monastaries all over the world lock their doors!

Avast! A Luthy dawns!

-ccm

12.14.2005

You know, it kills me that I was downsized. I didn't even do something to earn the right of being fired. I can't even say that cliche line, "I'm not allowed back in there, and with good reason!"

So yeah, this has gone from novelty to sucking. And just in time for the holidays. Yay.

So taking a cue from the long lost Piya, I hope this leads to something bigger and better. I think it was piya who wrote that. I hope so.

-ccm

12.12.2005

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddddd.....

laid off.

-ccm

12.06.2005

I'm typing this because I'm always sleepless the night before work.

I work at a newspaper. It's sort of interesting, but really it makes me want so much more out of my life. The paper itself is poorly run, and my schedule really makes me cringe. I get pretty much 2 days to get my shit together, and if something happens outside of the days i'm actually in the office, I won't get paid to cover it. It's limiting. Oh. They also apparently use only one space after a period in the press. Now I just do that as a routine.

What kills me about the press is the very terse style that one needs to write in. The myth of vocabulary is just that, the idea that reporters will use big cool words is bunk. Short and simple, to the point and lacking fluff. That's the way they do it.

I write about mundane things, I write about cool things. In one day I had a woman bitch to me about a story regarding something meaningless, and then I went to cover something that actually matters, where someone died and judgements were to be made. Still, I go home at the end of the day vaguely excited but ultimately feeling empty. I want too much too soon.

I also actually want to live in my apartment. This job is too close to my old home. I just go stay there for a few days while I work, then spend the weekend at my own place. I'm milking this job for the perks and clippings, but man, I just want to live in my own freaking place.

I'm at the same time very happy and very disappointed with my place right now.

I have the urge to make christian television. Exploit it. I figure the script is already written for a lot of it, and if you buy into it, it's perfect. (Nat and Bri get the assist on that one)

Won my division championships in hockey. It's a shit league, but it's good to win. We had a great team, but really had an off year. We won 3 games. Because of the lack of other teams all of us had a shot at the championship. We turned it on when it mattered. As a point of personal pride I won the last game. It went 4 periods and then ended in a shootout. I stopped 4 out of 5 shots that I faced there. So I can actually say that I won it. An odd moment of hubrus for me.

I wear a watch now.

Girls are still pretty. I'm still single, though I oddly don't mind as much.

I'm content to look scruffy and unkept. I also have adopted an old style hat and an overcoat to go with my longer hair, goatee, and general stubble. It goes with the converse quite nicely.

I love Brooklyn, when I'm there. I think we finally got rid of the roaches. They were living in our fridge, but we took care of that. With dynamite.

I've become convinced that the majority of the people that go on about politics have never actually read the documents that spawned their favorite passtime. Church and state boys, church and state...

I think I'm the least political political writer ever. My interest really dived after college. In university, it's sexy to care.

So I hear.

I wouldn't know. Much.

But anywho, it's supposed to snow now. The commute should be interesting.

I got to see Bri and Nat, and man, I miss our apartment. It kicked a good amount of ass, drama and incest aside.

I vaguely want to get into a fistfight with one of my coworkers. He's kind of a dick, the kind of guy that really gets all fired up about things in a very childish way. You know the kind of guy. He gets that look in his eyes, the same look a child gets when they can't get that new GI Joe or whatever the hell kids play with today. He's also got a scrunched up little face, and, oh yeah, is an enourmous tool. He's the sports dude. Fucking jocks.

I think I'm still a nice guy deep down inside, but as of now I'm a cynical motherfucker.

"That's all I can think of, but I'm sure there's something else, way down inside, I can feel it coming back"

Last random though: I realize now that I really am bad at keeping in touch with the people I want to keep in touch with, or even getting things done, especially lately. I need to sit down and write out a ton of emails. I also realize that I like the HBO series "Rome" a lot, Moz, and really don't have time for people who play social games.

Egg nog is amazing though, and is almost the sole reason I love this time of year. The other ones all involved ice, snow, and holidays.

I'll get something more upbeat soon.

-ccmas